I grew up in a small southern town. In the 1960's, as a child in grade school I rode a school bus every morning from home and every afternoon, my siblings and I were dropped off near my home. My black bus driver was a rather "distant" bus driver, one who didn't prefer to interact with kids. Although schools had become recently integrated, my country route school bus was segregated into two factions: white children in the front, black children in the back. It was an unspoken rule, neither groups by race questioned it.
Racial tension and friction between the riders were a mainstay, with disputes and physical fighting occurring almost daily. The bus driver, although aloof and a bit mean, allowed "certain" fights to occur. Typically, white children would raise up windows on purpose--sneering and snickering while gazing at us, and the air, sometimes quite cold, would harshly hit the children (almost all black) in the back of the bus. My siblings and I, along with other riders (black children who were are also neighbors) would generally have a self-appointed volunteer go up to the instigator and immediately confront the kid. Racial slurs such as "nigger" were common. Once such language flew out of the mouth of a white child, the game was over as a fight would ensue.
Upon arrival at various schools, all the kids would get off the bus as if nothing happened and proceed to their classroom destinations. The bus carried kids from grade school to high school aged children. We black children were a camaraderie, yet all the black children were receptive to allowing certain white children, we deemed "cool" to sit with us. On the flip side, certain "black" children, once they befriended a white child, were allowed to sit in the front seats, although the black child was still subjected to racial attacks at times by hostile white kids.
Living in an integrated rural area with houses spread far apart, my siblings and I had white neighborhood children we played with all the time. These children turned to be some of out best friends growing up. We did not care what color they were, so I grew up color blind regarding friendships. Yet, at the same time, the school bus environment which would dictate terms, and when the morning bus came along weekdays, we would enter the bus again and adapt right back into a racial charged atmosphere. Our neighborhood white friends did not ride the bus however, and were transported by their parents to school.
I have to laugh at this, because I doubt white people can understand it--but most black people know a racist person before they even open up their mouth. We have an inner radar. We can encounter a bad attitude waitress at a diner saying snarky words which we determine to simply be a rude person, but another waitress elsewhere can utter the exact same words--yet our inner being immediately realizes we are dealing with a racist person. So its an erroneous assumption, to think black people are calling all whites racist. Yet, no one appreciates gaslighting, as we see the number of whites who supported our racist president, Donald Trump. Only black people who hate themselves and their blackness, believe otherwise. Self hatred.
What I find distressing, and believe me, I do not wear rose colored glasses, is that so many young black people are now tasting what we tasted--'celebrated' racism. Openly, unapologetic racism fueled by a white nationalist dictator has made racism acceptable, and even segregation again.
Many people got arrested, gave up their lives to stop such oppression, and those gains are being reversed by the Trump Administration and his white nationalist supporters. Yet, and I will post more on this, I rode a bus to my grade school, and even I stood up to racist kids. I see and hear so many black people saying "I am not going to do anything", let "them" fight it out, yet all of these black enjoyed the fruits of other people's labors the past generations. Only to sit on their apathetic asses, or become so embittered they cannot see straight. We got to fight our black causes, but we also got to fight for our democratic causes as well.
